Sometimes, when I am alone, in solitude,some weird thoughts strike my mind.
I think about my relationship. I think about its relevance in my life, I think about whether it was worth taking that relationship to next level. What would have happened if I had married that girl. Would we able to live happier. Was the love that I found in her eyes 3 years back, is still there. Am I changed enough to not to feel that love or is she changed. Is the love left in our relationship enough to live whole life with or am I just pretending to have that love. Is it our love or addiction that driving us on this road of relationship. We don't talk very often these days. We talk only at the time when one of us is feeling lonely and somehow feel talking.
Why do we talk. When nothing is left in our relationship then why the hell we talk.
Why am I addicted talking to her. Why every night i feel lonesome. I was living my life happily before this relationship then why can't I live that life again. Why is it necessary to have her in my life. Why the hell I need her at time of adversities.
I know its just addiction of talking to her.
Loosing her hurts but sometimes I think it to be the best decision at such circumstances.
I had seen changes in her behavior for past few months. There was something that was missing rather there were many gestures that were missing. She was feeling loathsome in my company. Had I become over conscious, or over caring. I tried to answer this question but I was not. I was insecure. That was it. I was insecure. But for what.
The reasons were obvious and i even told her about my problems. She didn't want to understand me. Things were changed completely.
Had we taken this relationship a little further and would have married then situation could have been disastrous.
Relationship needs love but it needs alot more things to let that love alive.
We were just saying that we love each other but never ever pondered that were we.
I never ever in my life thought anything to be impossible. I am still trying to prove few things in my life that people say impossible. In the same way, i never thought it to be impossible to not to solve our personal problems. But that was not the case with her. She took it to be impossible to give me that love that she gave years back.
I was ready to be 3 years back guy. She was not. She has completely different thinking, contrasting my theory bout this life.
She taught me many things about life for which I am thankful to her.
But then also why do i miss her, even after knowing that she can't be mine.
1 comments:
Dear........
ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
dusre ko ch_da hua dekh ke kitna maja aata hai
tab jab aap ki bhi usi tarah lagi ho.....
koi nahi darling dare r people in this world who can understnd u.... :)
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