After a long interval of more than 2 years, I am here again, searching what I am and what I want.
This lukka chhuppi with life is ongoing and every now and then bring me back to ground.
Few years back, I decided to do MBA to change my life. I did, completed, got new job, changed job, got another job. And here I am, again in my lows, mesmerizing how life has turned and what is in it in my existence on this planet.
Today I saw this movie, "Tamasha".
Beautiful movie, showing how societal pressure, parents' expectations and trivial responsibilities push someone to choose a path chosen by millions, running in a race which even they are not aware of, living mediocre life with ultimate aim of buying a home and managing your family, and finally dying without knowing what they were actually capable of. This movie shows the person who is entwined in these rituals but clearly knows in his childhood what he is and what he is good at and what he wanted to be. However, due to these pressures, he becomes what other millions are. Live his daily routine boring life. But somewhere deepdown in his heart, that original person is present and he wakes up suddenly to conquer the world.
I was thinking, how it goes in real life.
First part, I agree. Most of the people know in their childhood what they want to become and in what they are good at.
Then comes these doldrums of daily life and we become mature and adult.Responsibilities come. Pressure comes.
Slowly and gradually we start forgetting our original being. If not awaken, this original being dyes gradually. At the age of 25-30, I have forgotten everything of what I was originally. I dont even have that talent in me anymore. I sometimes try to awaken this original being from deep sleep. But, it is long gone. I cant find it. Even if I find it, I dont have energy and courage to wake him up and ask him to fight this world.I have become comfortable in my own virtual, false world, running in rat race.
In movies, it is far easier to show how he wakes up his inner being. How this process works in real life is I want to know.
I have become so much of mediocre that I can believe that such life doesnt exists.
What if tomorrow I wake up and pack my bag and leave to become an auto rickshaw driver.
What if I go to Kasol by hitch hiking and spend some 2 odd months in the place, smoking up joints and wondering about this life.
What if I leave today and become a completely different person.
I have lost my creativity, lost creativity to write, to sing and to compose.
Creativity is like honey. Very less but very precious. It takes years to revive it if lost.
What if tomorrow I resign and start my own company.
God knows what I want to achieve in this life. But one thing is sure, I wont be like this for long. I will change and change to live not to run :)
This lukka chhuppi with life is ongoing and every now and then bring me back to ground.
Few years back, I decided to do MBA to change my life. I did, completed, got new job, changed job, got another job. And here I am, again in my lows, mesmerizing how life has turned and what is in it in my existence on this planet.
Today I saw this movie, "Tamasha".
Beautiful movie, showing how societal pressure, parents' expectations and trivial responsibilities push someone to choose a path chosen by millions, running in a race which even they are not aware of, living mediocre life with ultimate aim of buying a home and managing your family, and finally dying without knowing what they were actually capable of. This movie shows the person who is entwined in these rituals but clearly knows in his childhood what he is and what he is good at and what he wanted to be. However, due to these pressures, he becomes what other millions are. Live his daily routine boring life. But somewhere deepdown in his heart, that original person is present and he wakes up suddenly to conquer the world.
I was thinking, how it goes in real life.
First part, I agree. Most of the people know in their childhood what they want to become and in what they are good at.
Then comes these doldrums of daily life and we become mature and adult.Responsibilities come. Pressure comes.
Slowly and gradually we start forgetting our original being. If not awaken, this original being dyes gradually. At the age of 25-30, I have forgotten everything of what I was originally. I dont even have that talent in me anymore. I sometimes try to awaken this original being from deep sleep. But, it is long gone. I cant find it. Even if I find it, I dont have energy and courage to wake him up and ask him to fight this world.I have become comfortable in my own virtual, false world, running in rat race.
In movies, it is far easier to show how he wakes up his inner being. How this process works in real life is I want to know.
I have become so much of mediocre that I can believe that such life doesnt exists.
What if tomorrow I wake up and pack my bag and leave to become an auto rickshaw driver.
What if I go to Kasol by hitch hiking and spend some 2 odd months in the place, smoking up joints and wondering about this life.
What if I leave today and become a completely different person.
I have lost my creativity, lost creativity to write, to sing and to compose.
Creativity is like honey. Very less but very precious. It takes years to revive it if lost.
What if tomorrow I resign and start my own company.
God knows what I want to achieve in this life. But one thing is sure, I wont be like this for long. I will change and change to live not to run :)
